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  • Have you ever wondered when you were a kid and Mommy tucked you in and kissed you goodnight, if she serviced Daddy prior to?
    PhotoPOC(tm)
    MM9 MMX FF FF2 FF3 FF4 FF5
    93' PGT not stock
    91' PLX MTX stock

    95' Jaguar XJR 155mph La-z-boy recliner

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    • Two peanuts were walking down an alley.

      One was assaulted.
      Halo 3: 5 Star General (6000 EXP)

      XBL Tag: Jimmy Bags

      "I like how strippers try to glamourize their jobs by calling themselves professional dancers"
      C619

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      • :pineapple: is back!
        2015 Dodge Charger SXT Rallye, JAZZZND , 40K
        JAZZZIN 1994 PGT, MTX, Black/Gray leather, 200K, KLZE, Magnaflow catback SOLD to Dan [Sac]
        JAZZZN8 (2008 Mazda RX-8 GT), JAZZZN6 (2013 and 2010 Mazda 6 s GTs), first BAPOC Prez James Creasy's JAZZZN2 (1994 PGT), the infamous GRPJUCE (1994 PGT) all sold
        born in MA, grew up in MI, live in CA, just kept moving west

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        • The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party. The Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"

          The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

          The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed."You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days What is your second request?" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

          The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of talent, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

          Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,"Listen carefully this time dumb-ass. I said bring posse!"
          ¶¶¶ Spyder Mica Metallic1994 PGT ZE-T04E Intercooled @ 6 psi.. ----- Sold within NEPO and PT
          ¶¶¶ Arancio Atlas Metallic1995 PGT NOVI 1000 Intercooled @ 10psi. ----- STUPID FAST
          ¶¶¶ Verde Mica Metallic 1993 PGT Modified, Sanctified, Retired. ----- Damn I miss her.

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          • What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

            NA-CHO Cheese!
            Halo 3: 5 Star General (6000 EXP)

            XBL Tag: Jimmy Bags

            "I like how strippers try to glamourize their jobs by calling themselves professional dancers"
            C619

            Comment


            • Here's one that I heard on the radio yeasterday. Chelsea clinton comes home late after a date.
              Hillary:oh,hy honey,did you have a good time?
              Chelsea: oh,yes! I think I'm in LOVE!!!
              Hillaryid YOU have sex?!!?
              Chelsea:not according to daddy...


              '94 PROBE SE Middle-aged croozr

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              • hahaha nice!
                Halo 3: 5 Star General (6000 EXP)

                XBL Tag: Jimmy Bags

                "I like how strippers try to glamourize their jobs by calling themselves professional dancers"
                C619

                Comment


                • What do women and tornadoes have in common?










                  They scream when they come and take the house when they leave.
                  2005 BMW r1200GS - fully dressed adv machine
                  2006 Suzuki SV650 - naked squid machine

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                  • There's two muffins sitting in an oven.

                    One of them says "It's getting really hot in here!"

                    The other one responds "WOW! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
                    Halo 3: 5 Star General (6000 EXP)

                    XBL Tag: Jimmy Bags

                    "I like how strippers try to glamourize their jobs by calling themselves professional dancers"
                    C619

                    Comment


                    • The Norwegian Volunteer Fire Dept.

                      One dark night outside a small town near Poulsbo,Washington, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
                      The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
                      But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
                      As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
                      From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
                      Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
                      Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.
                      It was a performance and effort never seen before.
                      Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
                      The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
                      The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
                      "Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat ****ing truck!"
                      Artist, Writer, Photographer, Video Producer, Daddy!

                      Official Facebook page for Me, Myself and I

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                      • 3-minute management course
                        Lesson 1

                        A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
                        The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

                        Management lesson:
                        If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

                        Lesson 2

                        A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
                        forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
                        The priest remo v ed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

                        Management lesson:
                        If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity

                        Lesson 3

                        A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

                        Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
                        relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

                        "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

                        Management lesson:
                        Always let your boss have the first say

                        Lesson 4

                        An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
                        A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
                        So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
                        All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

                        Management lesson:
                        To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up

                        Lesson 5

                        A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
                        bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
                        As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
                        realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

                        A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate
                        Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

                        Management lesson:
                        Not everyone who [shizzle]s on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of [shizzle] is your friend. And when you're in deep [shizzle], it's best to keep your mouth shut!


                        This ends the 3-minute management course.
                        Purple fuzzy turtles are going to take over the world
                        did you see that sky yesterday talk about BLUE
                        like a beaver stalking its prey
                        it is a 4 ton truck tyrone. it was at a funny angle. that is the angle things come when you are backing up.

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                        • Ford to Replace Extinct Probe with "Thermoma Recto" for 2010

                          Ford set the tempo for a decade of sex-themed auto monikers with their anally-oriented Probe over 10-years ago. The chrome slathered bull nose of the Ram was soon to follow, and the broad guzzling Hummer kicked it up yet another notch. For 2010 the Ford Motor Corp will push that naughty envelope once again with the re-branding of the Probe to the questionable Thermoma Recto.

                          Ford publicity spokesman Will Townsend says, "our cars are sexy, you don't have to be an explorer on an expedition to see that and you don't have to be a ranger or an escort at the Mustang ranch to own a sexy car. We know you're a bronco, skip the excursion and be the first on your block to lay down your deposit on a Thermoma Recto. This car speaks for itself, and it does it with easy financing options."

                          But what exactly does it say to drive a thusly dubbed automobile? Perhaps you know what kind of person drives a Spider, Midget or Harley Davidson's Fat Boy or Soft Tail, but how far are you willing to drive your label?

                          Not to be outdone by their American counterparts, Hyundai has suggested their premium sports coupe, the Tiberon, will be renamed the Porta Felatio for 2010. Also, the successor to the Hummer H2 will not be the H3, but the Big Jump model, the Hummer BJ. The Eddie Bauer edition will be replaced by one designed by composer George Clinton, to be marketed as the Clinton Hummer edition.

                          Wall street reacted favorably with Ford Motor shares trading in positive integers for the first time in almost two years.

                          ************************************************** *******

                          three guys in a bar talking cars,

                          the first says, 'I'm an astronaut so I drive a Saturn.'

                          2nd says. 'I'm a pimp so I drive a cheap escort'

                          third says, I'm a rectologist so I drive a brown probe'
                          Last edited by LowClassCC; April 20, 2008, 08:00 AM.
                          1993 Probe GT
                          2003 Bagged Chevy S10

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                          • $7

                            A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

                            The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck. He charges them $50 and he says goodbye.

                            The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leaves.

                            Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

                            The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She lives with her son and daughter-in-law and we can't go to her house. I live with my daughter and son-in-law and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare."
                            2015 Dodge Charger SXT Rallye, JAZZZND , 40K
                            JAZZZIN 1994 PGT, MTX, Black/Gray leather, 200K, KLZE, Magnaflow catback SOLD to Dan [Sac]
                            JAZZZN8 (2008 Mazda RX-8 GT), JAZZZN6 (2013 and 2010 Mazda 6 s GTs), first BAPOC Prez James Creasy's JAZZZN2 (1994 PGT), the infamous GRPJUCE (1994 PGT) all sold
                            born in MA, grew up in MI, live in CA, just kept moving west

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                            • LMAO@Last 2

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                              • Originally posted by unionrdr View Post

                                Hillaryid YOU have sex?!!?
                                Chelsea:not according to daddy...


                                I Love it.
                                I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself

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