Official Joke thread

[Lithium543]

Nerd joke of the day

Your Mom is so fat, the recursive function computing her fatness causes a stack overflow

I about 'd my pants.

[j-dogg]

Your momma's so fat that if one would calculate her Broglie-Wave-Length at the speed of 10^-50 m/s one would get 10^-90.

[j-dogg]

A young man met an older woman at a bar. She wasn't bad for 57. They drank and talked a little, then she asked if he'd ever had a sportsman's double, a mother and daughter threesome.

He said no.

They drank a bit more, then she said tonight was his lucky night. They went back to her place, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs, "Mom, you still awake?"

[Josh_Rose]

repost... i think its about 3-4 pages back.

still funny either way...

[aris_unlimited]

Is it wrong that I don't understand either of those?

[greenbud]

your mamas so fat she thinks e=mcsquared is the she of mcdonalds burgers

[Josh_Rose]

is it even sadder that i got the recurring function one lol...

[ladyjazz17]

Jealousy

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"Silly, that's me before the surgery."

[PearsonMX6]

yuck.

[pHeLiOs27]

Hilarious St. Patty's Day Joke!!!11 lol lol lol

Why do Leprachaun's laugh when the run????















































Because the grass tickles their nutz "" """"

[bizkit29588]

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"Silly, that's me before the surgery."

good one! LMAO
Two women were having a girls night out. They ended up being too drunk to drive home and too broke to catch a cab, so they decide to walk home.
Halfway there, they need to pee, so they walk into a nearby cemetery.
Not having any tissue with them, the first woman takes off her panties and wipes with them and tosses them away...
The second woman has a real expensive pair on and refuses to wipe with them, so she feels around in the dark and finds a headstone with a wreath and some ribbon on it, and decides to wipe with that...
The next morning the first womans husband sees his wife still passed out in the bed at 11 am with no panties on.
Fearing the woman has been doing the worse, he calls the other womans husband. "We need to stop this girls nite out...im worried, my wife came home with no panties on last nite"
The second husband said "You think thats bad.....My wife is still in bed with a card sticking out of her ass that says,
"From All Of Us At The Fire Station
We Will Never Forget You"

[slowred6]

Theres a blonde that was sent by her dad to go find a 28 oz water pump. She walks into a gas station asking if they carried any 28 oz water pumps the man behind the counter replies, "no we dont carry 28 oz water pumps." The blonde leaves and goes to another gas station and asks the same question again and the man behind the counter replied, "no sorry we dont carry 28 oz water pumps." The blonde is now mad because no one carries what she needs. So she goes to another gas station and tells the man behind the counter, " i need a 28 oz water pump but every gas station ive been to doesnt carry it, i have it written down, So do you carry it? The man behind the counter asked to see the piece of paper that her dad wrote down the information on. The man stood there and looked at the piece of paper and then looked up at her and said, " Miss i think you mean u need a 280z water pump and you would need to go to a auto parts store to get that."

lol i thought it was funny when my step dad told me it.

[Josh_Rose]

that was great

[Forditude]

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama where on a boat together ( dont ask me how or why) in the middle of the ocean.

The boat sank.

Who was saved?


























AMERICA!!!

[pHeLiOs27]

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama where on a boat together ( dont ask me how or why) in the middle of the ocean.

The boat sank.

Who was saved?






























AMERICA!!!

I guess it's funny if your a republican

What do you call a pig in a freezer?

















bacon


















What do you call a pig with a gun to your head?



















The Boss
















What do you call a pig in a blanket?



















your wife ""